Carolyn Hax's general theory: Protect your children, give them what they need to thrive and then release them into the world.
Hax thinks that people often write in to her just to hear their bias confirmed.
Inside the advice world: Hax says that people shop their letters to different advice columnists.
@Holly Hax says one choice is for you to let it go. Seek family in people who are willing to open their hearts to you. It is excruciating but you can find happiness eventually.
Dana's advice: Does this need to be said? Does this need to be said right now? Does this need to said by me?
@Anonymous Carolyn: Remember the child (now adult) put up for adoption is innocent. the kids can be angry at their dad, but not the (as Carolyn says) "love child."