Live chat about kids and culture
The Daily Circuit for November 29
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How do you know when to expose children to difficult films, books, plays and other cultural fare?
Before taking his two teenaged children to a new Broadway production of Edward Albee's play, "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?," New York Times critic Dwight Garner wondered whether they were ready for it. Kerri spoke to Garner and film critic Ty Burr about "going beyond cultural kid stuff."
Are there movies or plays or books that are important enough for your kids that you "waive" the usual adult content rules? Can you think of having that experience yourself - as a young person - and what a difference it made?
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I read The Eye of the Needle when I was 10. Good book, but probably a little too soon. And not exactly a work of high art.
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It seems like many R rated movies from the 1980s/1990s are basically what is not PG13 "strongly cautioned" with a few swear words. So there are a few older R films we will let our 13yr/10yr olds watch. Some PG13 movies are a little too adult - we did not let them watch the Dark Knight movie this year as it seemed too adult in its themes etc. -
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Garner says he took his son to Ladder 49, a movie with a major character's death at the end, when he was young:
I didn’t notice it at the time, but Penn, terrified, wept in his seat, tears collecting in a miniature wading pool at his clavicle.
On the way out he said something I’ll never forget. He looked at me and, wiping his face on his shirt-sleeve, half-croaked, “That was the first time I’ve ever cried about something that wasn’t about me.” Penn, now a passionate moviegoer, had sprung his first cathartic leak. But I felt like a monster. -
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My son, who is now 12 has been interested in World War 2 since he was about 4. It has been a journey of discovery for us as we increased his access to such terrible events. He started out learning about the airplanes and tanks and have moved on to D day and Hitler. Only now are we allowing him to learnmore about the concentration camps. I don't know that he could totally understand the finality and gravity of these topics any earlier and don't know if anyone can at any age.
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My parents had me watch The Diary of Ann Frank.
I'm sure they thought I wouldn't understand it but at the end I asked my mother if it was true the "those men killed that girl."
We lived near a busy street by the fire department and every time a siren went by (they were the kind that sounded like Europen sirens) I thought the Nazis were coming to get me and I would go down the hall and sleep on the floor outside my parents' bedroom. -
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My parents were lenient with me when I was young, but one experience sticks out in my mind as being pivitol.
When I was in high school I took an acting class that required us to attend one play outside of class and write about it. I scanned theatre listings and found one that looked interesting. I didn't know anything about Sam Shepard at the time, or his play "A Lie of the Mind," which is abobut spousal abuse.
I left the theatre that night changed. I was and continue to be, over a decade and a theatre degree later, I'm still committed to making art that tackles hard issues like that.
My mom, who saw the play with me, never talked about it other than to say it was sad, but she liked it, never mentioned the "adult" themes. She'll never understand how important it was to me that she was willing to let me be exposed to some of the harsher realities of life. I'm thankful to both of my parents for protecting me when necessary, but also for exposing me to art that deals with the lived experiences of those around me. It's made me a more compassionate person. -
As a music historian and primary care giver to my children (the oldest now 8), I have exposed my children to a variety of music, film, lit, history, World Religions, political debates et al. The crucial point is that I encourage them to think about what they have seen and we discuss its meaning to us and explore different interpretations.
When it came to film, I let the kids watch a variety of Errol Flynn films so that they could see the same actors "playing pretend." They caught on pretty quickly to the idea that what they watch on TV and movies is not "real."
These are instances where I as a responsible parent have control. What concerns me most however is the pictoral graffitti scrawled in the stalls of men's restrooms than music, movies, and lit. When my son was 2 1/2 he could read and he could identify pictures...That took a bit more explaining as a parent. -
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@DailyCircuit my daughter has loved The Wizard of Oz since she was 2. But when she watches it now w her older friends (6- 8)they are scaredby I Heart Kids' Art via twitter 11/29/2012 4:45:33 PM -
When I was a kid I used to love to watch "Liar, Liar" with Jim Carrey. I had watched it with my mom a couple of times and I would always "have to go to the bathroom" when the scene where Jennifer Tilley's orgasm is played on a tape recorder (knowing full well the embarrassment watching it with my mother would cause). I remember once the movie got to that point and that scene was coming and I said, "Man, I always have to go to the bathroom at this part." Without skipping a beat my mother says, "Oh, I'll pause it." That was one of the most traumatic experiences of my youth.
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@KerriMPR @stephcurtis Fabulous resource for parents: Common Sense Media (dot org).by BillMcGev via twitter 11/29/2012 4:48:20 PM -
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Connor, a caller from Bloomington:
His dad let him watch Braveheart. It didn't affect him but that Titanic scarred him because of the injustice of the poor people dying.
Ty Burr says emotional trauma can be more scarring to kids than physical violence. "We can contextualize violence in a movie." -
I'm 70. As I listen, I believe this is as much a generational issue as anything. As we were growing up and we were exposed to and involved on serious theater from Antigone to 45 Minutes from Broadway. We were not really restricted in our reading.
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A great discussion. I am a performer myself, and it bothers me that many parents seem to think the arts in general are for children. Numerous times, I have watched parents bring their young children to theater and dance events, only to allow them to run up and down the aisles of the theater, be constantly changing seats or bouncing up and down in their seats. I have a limited budget, and if I have paid $45 or more for a ticket, it is something I really want to see, and I expect to be able to watch the show in peace. Bringing young children to a show, if they cannot yet sit still in their seats for an extended period of time, is rude to the performers and the surrounding patrons.
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At age 15 back in the 70s I saw a drive-in double bill: Deliverance and A Clockwork Orange. Being a student of film and somewhat more intellectual than other kids I was able to appreciate the art and craft of those films, but while shocked I also remember being somewhat detached, as if I understood that these were 'adult' films, and that I was witnessing a window into the adult world.
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I was so excited for my young daughter to see ET as I thought it was a wonderful, heartwarming story. I showed it to her as a young adolescent. She was SO disturbed by the ET character when he got ill and white, that to this day (she's 29) she is freaked out about that movie. She can watch any horror film, reads voraciously, but can't handle ET. I goofed on a very strange movie choice!
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